I GAVE IT ALL UP
Sometimes God asks us to dive headfirst off a cliff. He asks us to take a giant leap of faith. Many of us are more than willing to take a leap of faith. But would you be willing if you didn’t know whether or not God had tied a bungee cord around your feet?
When I was getting to graduate college in 2009 – the year that college students left school only to find a scarcity of professional jobs - He taught me how BIG of an issue trust is to Him. I learned that without our trust in Him, He may not feel like He can trust us with the blessings and gifts He has in store for us. In 2009, God asked me to take a REALLY big step. He asked me to give it all up. You may think that I may have just had to give up something that was weighing me down or causing me pain, but it was quite the opposite. God was asking me to give up something that gave me joy. He was asking me to give up a life-long goal.
You must understand that this goal was MONUMENTAL in my eyes. I had spent days and hours dreaming about it and planning on how it could come to be. Everything about this goal would bring glory to God and change lives. Why would God ask me to give that up? It became very clear to me that when we give God everything, we give Him literally EVERYTHING. Everything includes MY dreams, MY plans, MY goals, MY ambitions, MY will, MY life. God asked me to give it all to Him and get myself to the point where I could be content with the fact that I may never get to see this life-long dream come to fruition. I may NEVER get to see anything even remotely close to it happen in my lifetime. I had to accept that it may be God’s will for me to live a quiet life working my grocery store accounting Monday through Friday job. God asked me to be ok with the simplicity of that kind of life. So, I did it. I told God: “Even though I think this dream would bring glory and honor to you – If You’re not in it then I don’t want anything to do with it.” Letting go of this dream came with a few tears but also a fragment of joy. I had to mourn the loss of that dream but the next morning it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
Not even a few hours later at church I felt like God was pulling me in a completely different direction. At church the pastor was talking about “don’t give up … He has something great in store for you … keep striving … you haven’t reached your full potential yet … God has something better...” A message like that on the heels of just letting go of a dream caused some internal confusion and chaos. At the end of the service the pastor opened the altar to anyone who was in need. It was one of those moments where time kind of stands still and you feel like the pastor is refusing to move on until you make your way to the altar. So, I went. To be honest I was so confused. I didn’t even know what I needed; I just knew that I needed to go. I knew that I needed God’s will for my life and that was enough to bring me to the front of the church. I got to the front of the church and I didn’t even have words to pray. I just knew that I was supposed to be there. A friend I met at church about a year prior came and prayed with me. She uttered the exact words that were in my heart but that I never in a million years would have been able to articulate myself. I left church feeling confused but content. I had taken a big step in admitting to God that I need His plan rather than my own. That was all that I knew. I had no idea where I was going. I had no idea what the next step was. My mind was blank. I was a clean slate. I was completely in His hands.
The Monday workday came, and the Monday workday left. No sooner had I checked my e-mail at home then did I discover that a new position was open at Big Brothers Big Sisters and they were only offering it in-house. This was a huge window of opportunity for me as I happened to be a paid contractor who was hired to do volunteer interviews for them at the time. It’s funny because the position that came open was the only job in the world that I previously would have given my dream up for. It was also the position that my mother had been praying would come open for me. I immediately expressed interest to the VP of the organization and from there things began to fly. Monday, I applied, Tuesday I was interviewed and Wednesday I was hired.
It’s amazing to me how you can think that you are creating the picture-perfect life for yourself only to have God destroy it to pieces and then give you something better. My point is this: No matter what it is you are holding on to, whether it is good or bad, give it to God. No matter what your reason is for hanging on to that something, let it go. I PROMISE that it will work out in your favor if you just trust that God has your best interest in mind. You just have to take that initial jump off the cliff and trust that He’s securely wrapped a bungee cord around your feet, even if you can’t feel it. If you give it all up, then only God knows what will be given to you. I am living proof of the blessings that God has in store for you when you give it all up.
About The Author: Nicole
Nicole currently lives in Tampa. She loves her son called Ar’Mondo and her church home called Crossover. Nicole has a background in social work, has done some masters work in counseling and is currently working as an Underwriter for a Home Insurance Company based out of the Tampa Bay area. She is a fan of the color purple, all things chocolate and is obsessed with glitter eye shadow. She believes laughter is the best medicine and tries to take her medicine as often as possible. Nicole tries to find the silver lining on dark cloudy days whenever possible. She loves Jesus and loves people and tries to do both well.
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