The Timing of the Process
Tillia Britt
A few years ago, I told God that I no longer wanted children. I was consumed with caring for my three nieces and nephew and had become overwhelmed with the responsibility of being their "titi" (aunt), a.k.a. second mom. The responsibility had become so great that I made it known to the world around me that children were no longer a part of my plan. Being a titi had satisfied my desire to be a mom. Not once did I talk to God about His plans or consider my husband's burning desire to have a family of his own; I was in control. After being the woman with the issue of blood for over 10 years and not conceiving a child even after being healed, I somehow had unknowingly given up on God's word that I was going to be a mother -- and had honestly become okay with it. Deep down, I believe I had to convince myself to accept the world's facts over my life so I wouldn't be let down when God's word didn't come through. Writing that last statement sounds so ridiculous now. "When has God not fulfilled His promises?" I let the world's timing tell me I had run out of time for God's truth to prevail in my life because His word had not come forth when the world said it should. The world often plants these seeds of lies in all areas of our lives, "you're too old to do this," "it's too late to start," "you should have already achieved that.."
Oftentimes we choose to believe the world's forever changing statements over God's never-changing truth, which has been proven for over 2000 years. We let the world tell us when to get a degree, get married, get divorced, have children, find our purpose, fulfill our purpose, buy a home, repair broken relationships, and even when to accept salvation. We've adapted the world's customs in every area of our lives, that we've even accepted the lie that God's will for us isn't true because we do not fully understand His plans. (Romans 12:2 – NLT) How can a world that did not create me tell me my purpose and place over who created me? In fact, how can the creation tell the Creator its function? (Sigh) Worst of all, how could I be okay with God's plan not prevailing in my life? Perhaps, it's because I thought I was in control when I was really out of control.
What truth has God given you that you have replaced with a lie? Twelve years ago, during the toughest time in our marriage, a stranger told my husband and me God's plan for us was to be parents of "children" - take heed to the plural! At that very moment, I remember physically seeing my children so vividly standing before me-- two boys and one girl. I was in my early twenties and interpreted God's word as a right now, because my age was known as the "perfect" age range to have children. As time passed, I replaced God's truth with a lie when I approached my thirties without conceiving. Although my age was known as the perfect age, the other areas of my life (spiritual, mental, emotional, financial, relational) was doomed for hell. God wasn't at the center of my life, if I'm being honest, He was only a small section of it. I wanted God's results but not His process. It seems like we always want the results but not the process. How can the olive produce oil without beating and pressing? The olive cannot produce oil if the appropriate method is not followed. That's the same order with getting God's results – you have to do things His way.
Fast forward to 2019, after the beating and pressing season, my husband had unexpected heart surgery and a stroke which left him paralyzed in the hospital for nearly three months. During this time, I leaned in to read the bible a little more and "stumbled" upon the story of Sarah (Genesis 17:16 )-- which did not seem significant since I'd heard it many times over the years. But, this time as I read, the memory of the word given by the stranger years prior had surfaced. The words had become so loud in my ears as conviction began to consume me. This was the moment I'd realized I’d told God that I did not want His plans for my life. That I somehow knew better than He did. That I knew my purpose although He created me. I prayed and asked God for forgiveness and said, "Father, if it is your will to open my womb, I surrender my body to you."
Within months I'd become pregnant with our first child after 18 years together. Although I am 37 and considered old, the timing could not have been more perfect. I have evolved and matured in every area of my life - a woman, servant, wife, leader and individual. I am not who I was at 25 and I could not have imagined being pregnant at 37 but I am thrilled with Gods decision and timing.
Many have asked what I've done differently and for tips to help them conceive. I tell them I chose God's plans over mine and accepted His timing over the world's. I believed His truths over the lies created. I did things His way. Now don’t go thinking you can fool God with your actions and words to get what you want. Like the olive oil there’s a process He’s created just for you. When you seek Him, He will reveal it in His time. Just make sure you do not confuse your timing with His.
Remember whose time you’re on –
Remember whose truths you believe over your life.
It’s your choice—God or the world?
