The Starting Line

By Lucy Kyllonen

I ran track in High School. I wasn't the best on the team, but I wasn't the worst one either, and that was good enough for me.

I remember how grueling our practices were. I grew up in NYC and depending on the time of year and the weather conditions, our after-school sports practices took place indoors. Every time it rained, we would run down the hallways and up and down the stairs at school. We'd repeat this for what seemed like an eternity, and right before, we were all ready to pass out. 

In our first few competitions, I competed in the 440-yard dash. I wasn't first, but I wasn't last either, and that was good enough for me. But, one day, my coach decided to change my starting line and wanted me to compete in the 800-meter race. My response was sheer dismay! What in the world was he thinking? I haven't trained for the 800-meter race! There was no way that I could do this. And just like any great coach, he gave me his pep talk and told me all I had to do was finish the race. Don't worry about where you place or your finishing time; what matters is that you finish the race.

Hesitantly and with my heart pounding, I made my way to my new starting line. When the gun went off, I ran, and I kept running. I barely did the 1st lap when my heart was beating so hard it felt like it would come out of my chest. With every stride and breath, my legs & my lungs burned. But from a distance, I remember seeing and hearing some of my teammates on the sidelines calling my name and cheering me on. Their voices echoed, "Keep running, Lucy! You got this! You're almost there!"

And guess what? I crossed the finish line! I didn't come in first, but I didn't come in last, either. I finished the race, and that was good enough for me. But if I may brag for a bit, I came in second place just behind the 1st place winner, who happened to be a veteran runner. Who would've thought, right? That day I did something I never thought I could do. It was the beginning of believing in myself and believing in the impossible.

What do you believe about yourself? Do you think you can accomplish the impossible? 

I believe that sometimes God wants to change our starting line. So many of us are running the race of striving. Striving to be the best woman……

The most intellectual.

The most creative.

The best mom.

The most energetic.

The most effortlessly put together.

The most successful business owner. 

The funniest.

The best wife.

The fittest.

The hottest

The cleanest.

The best leader.

The healthiest.

The bestest friend ever.

The most productive. 

Best manager.

The best of the best in competition with the rest. 

What if God wants to move your starting line from the race of your IDEAL SELF (where you are striving) to the race to become your ACTUAL SELF (what you are hiding)?  

The actual self is the broken you. The messy you; you with past regrets and mistakes. The one who thinks….I’m not good enough. I’m not qualified enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not enough! The part of us that focuses on our lack, who we are not, and who we wish we were. 

Friend, God has the last word in our not-enoughness.

Your weaknesses are not a liability to the kingdom of God, and there is no skeleton in the closet or hidden trait or bad habit in your being that would shock him or cause him to stop coming towards you in grace. 

I love what Paul says here:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Let your weakness be your witness! 

God is in the business of making all things new. He's an expert at making something out of nothing. He is constantly renewing, transforming, restoring, etc. And he calls us into a life of continuous transformation. 

God is inviting you to start a new race. All you have to do is walk over to the new starting line where you experience complete abandonment- with all your weaknesses, scars, wounds, and blemishes exposed. It's a race where you allow Him to hold you just as you are in complete surrender to your Maker. In this race, He graciously removes the layers of shame and regret. 

In the race to your ACTUAL SELF, you are carried forward by His love, tender mercies, and grace. The more you run forward, the more you see your actual self, and it's good enough for you. The one who messes up yet experiences God's grace. The one who feels fear but chooses faith instead. The one who hurts and the one who can be hurt. The actual self is the complete picture version of a woman who was created by God -as is.

And, when the gun goes off and the enemy tries to blur your vision with thoughts of not-enoughness, there will be a voice from Heaven that rises from the depth of your soul and reminds you "you are good enough for me! What matters is that you finish the race and finish it well!”