BAD DECISION DAMAGE CONTROL
Have you ever made a bad decision and then wonder, “alright, now what?”
I think we all have. I think every one of us has, at some point or another, made a choice that we knew was the wrong choice and then froze in the face of the consequence, not knowing where to turn or how to correct it.
There are a thousand examples I could share from my personal life, ranging in severity, from turning the wrong way onto the one way street we call life. In the spirit of total transparency, I’ll list a few of my “greatest hits”: (a) bartering booze for finished homework assignments in the eighth grade (a plan that was rudely foiled by my principal), (b) my rebellion against the college I was attending when I decided to quit (the first time) and move off campus and move in with my boyfriend (please note I did things “out of order”), (c) one of my longest running wrong choices was marrying an atheist boyfriend who led me down a path into a terrible depression and gaining 100 pounds (more bad choices, more consequences).
So, you may be wondering, how did you end up where you are today, Jody? With the culmination of bad decisions, how did you end up neck deep in church ministry, happily married, and no longer massively overweight? Well friend, I’ll tell you in a minute. But first, let’s look at these cosmic big bang moments, shall we? Also, replace my moments with your own in your head.
Big, scary, daunting, terrible choices do not usually explode without lots of little scoops of dynamite piled on. I think the first piece of damage control comes from having discernment to see a big bang moment coming. Being tuned into the Holy Spirit, yes of course, but sometimes we are so far along on our obstacle course we cannot hear that still small voice whispering to us anymore. So we have to look at the reality of the situation. Using the simple example of gaining weight, my 100 pounds of excess weight did not magically appear overnight. It was hundreds, if not thousands of late night snacks, trips through the drive through, stops at the vending machines at work, sugary splurges, carb addictions and Netflix binges that got me there. Many times I could see the warning signs on my scale, in the mirror, the way my clothes didn’t fit me any more and how I felt. My health was declining. The point is, I ignored WISDOM. However, if we would tap into our wisdom, most of these life altering moments could be avoided all together.
Since I clearly have a track record for not following my own advice, how can I help you get back on track? What do you do when you feel you’ve made a mistake that feels above and beyond redemption? I submit the following steps to you.
Step One: Find your Heavenly Father. Jesus is the great redeemer.
Romans 8:28 NIV “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Lamentations 3:57-58 NIV “You came near me when I called you, and you said, “do not fear”. You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life.”
Tell your heavenly father what you did, where you are, and how desperately you need him to heal you and the damages these choices have created. Give full surrender and understand that only “The Great I Am” can mend this brokenness. Jesus found me on my knees in the darkest place in life and he whispered to me, “REMEMBER” when I had forgotten. I’ve known Him since I was a small child going to Sunday School each week and hearing bible stories and every time, Christ was the hero. As I recalled all the times he rescued different characters in the old and new testament, it occured to me that there was one character he did not rescue – His beloved son who died on a cross in hopes that one day Christ would be the hero in my story.
Step Two: You have to own it to grow from it.
You have to take full responsibility for the choices you have made and the repercussions of those choices. This is difficult because you have to take a thorough long, honest, bone baring look at the ENTIRE narrative of your life starting from where you began to where you are now. I was a master at the blame game from the time I was old enough to blame my parents for things until college when “it was the circumstances around me” that “drove me to leave,” to blaming my ex- husband’s lifestyle for the state of my health. Blaming might help you sleep better in the depth of discomfort, but the lasting PEACE and POWER of God comes from claiming back your life, your choices, your thought patterns. He helps you begin to move in the direction you are supposed to go.
Step Three: Reach Up and Reach Out.
There comes a point when you are so far down the rabbit hole and you need someone to help lift you out. This could mean a variety of resources such as leadership, mentorship, accountability, support, encouragement, love, and guidance. We also need to realize that our help usually cannot come from our closest friendship circles. Often, we get into these situations because of the current environment we are in. However, as we grow out of old lifestyles and work through our consequences and LEAVE these situations, some of those people may follow your shift. But, if you have heard the phrase “the blind leading the blind” yet no one has spiritually clear vision, NONE of you are getting out of your mess. You have to reach outside of your relational circle. Hoping not to sound like a hypocrite, here is a brief list of the different types of individuals and communities that have helped me get to where I’m at now. Maybe these suggestions will inspire you to look in a new direction. People like church leaders, elders, church members, counselors, health coaches, personal trainers, life coaches, positive friends – people already on the journey and heading in the direction I want to be on. Also, I’ve pursued LOTS and lots of personal and spiritual development work on my own like reading, listening to audio books, motivational Youtube videos, podcasts, TED talks, sermons, reading devotionals, and attending leadership conferences and retreats. Plugging into positive communities like a strong bible focused church, like Crossover Church in Tampa, and/or, a fitness community like CrossFit or Zumba are also healthy choices. For some situations you may need to plug into support groups like Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous or even spend some time in a treatment facility. The most productive thing you can do for yourself regarding damage control is utilize every tool you have accessible to get the full experience from the situation.
Step Four: Understand it will be okay. Everything can be figured out.
The biggest thing to remember is not to give up. In many cases, consequences only last for a season. Life continues after mistakes are made. Progress only stops if you do.
I suppose I should finish my story…
All of the instances I mentioned at the beginning ended up compounding upon each other. Sometimes things would get better and sometimes things would get worse. I was caught up in a self destructive cycle over and over again. The cycle broke when I realized who my Creator is in me and who I could be if I started making smaller and healthier choices by altering my lifestyle a little bit at a time, and start chasing after God one step at a time. Literally, my life transformation began when I connected with a health coach and started running. As I physically transformed, my spiritual life transformed and I became a new creation in Christ. People that God did not intend for me to know fell away and healthy relationships began to form. Of course life still presents its challenges. I still make mistakes and I am definitely still learning and growing, but life is a process. Fall in love with the journey, and you will find yourself falling in love with God and the damage will heal.
Resources:
Crossover Church www.crossoverchurch.org ph:(813) 971.8887
Narcotics Anonymous: www.tampa-na.org ph:(813).879.4357
Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org ph:(813) 933.9123
Celebrate Recovery: www.celebraterecovery.com
Crisis Center of tampa bay: www.crisiscenter.com ph:(813)964.1964
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ph:(800)273.8255
About the Author: Jody
Jody has been in the fitness industry for over five years. She is on fire about inspiring people to take care of their health and wellness. How much more can we get done for God’s kingdom if we are healthy and have great energy? We are the Temple for the Holy Spirit to dwell in. God created our body, we should care for it!! Jody is also involved in the Remix worship ministry, as well as the creative team for Chosen Women’s Ministry. She often has a schedule that leaves her running on Jesus, coffee and dry shampoo- but mostly just wants to spend time with her husband of four years and their three dogs. Her biggest goal? To help women understand how powerful God created them to be, how valuable they are to the Kingdom, and how loved they are by so many, but by no one more than Jesus Christ.
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