God doesn’t give us what we can handle; God helps us handle what we are given.
By: Agatha Caballero- Quinones
In 2024, (2+0+2+4=8) they say it's the year of 8, symbolizing abundance and victory. Who wouldn't want that? My 2023 was tough - disappointment, sadness, and heartache to the 100th power. It felt like one thing after another, and all I could wonder was, "What is going on, GOD?" Survival seemed uncertain, and despite being the one who always says, "This too shall pass," I struggled to believe it myself. There were moments when my heart palpitations were so intense that I thought I was having a heart attack. Have you ever been so scared because the tunnel ahead seemed endless, shrouded in darkness?
At the top of the year in 2023, my work shifted me to a project manager role in a department I knew nothing about, with a manager I couldn't understand and a job I didn't care about. To add to it, they handed me a priority account demanding excellence I felt I lacked. Daily, I struggled with frustration, often crying, wondering why nothing was going my way. Not long before this, I underwent a procedure to remove a papilloma from my breast. While relieved it wasn't more, it was still an ordeal. Fast forward to the end of the second quarter, they shuffled my position again. "Time to pivot again," I told myself. In hindsight, I thought it was for the best, as I realized I wasn't working; I was just showing up, forgetting that tomorrow is not guaranteed. And then, my manager, who understood my struggles, suddenly passed away. His demise was a heartbreaking reminder of life's fragility. I cried for his family, out of pity, and because it was too sudden. Most of all, I cried because I realized I was just showing up, forgetting that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Talk about one thing after another; well, it got worse. About two months later, on a summer night, I almost lost my husband to a near-fatal experience. Not even married a year, the thought of losing him was overwhelming. This shook my world, turning it upside down. Another shock to the nervous system. At this point, all I could ask was, "GOD, what is it? What is going on?" I know some say not to question GOD, but He knows me, and I ask Him why all the time. Who else would explain the out-of-body experiences, heart palpitations, night sweats, anxiety gripping my breath every hour, and physical pain endured for four months? Only GOD could, and the Bible says that whatever the enemy means for evil, GOD will turn it for good. When walking in GOD's will, things appear differently. Surrendering it all to Him changes your perspective. GOD doesn't give us things we can handle, but He holds our hands through what we can't. This doesn't mean instant healing or everything falling into place, but it shifts your focus. As Christ's followers, we will face challenges. Some will have multiple challenges simultaneously, but we mustn't lose faith and trust in the GOD we serve.
Biblically, the number 8 symbolizes the circumcision of Jesus Christ. It said in scripture that Mary saw to it that on the 8th day Jesus was circumcised and “his name was called Jesus.”
Romans 2:28-29 (NLT) says, “ For you are not a true Jew just because you were born of Jewish parents or because you have gone through the ceremony of circumcision. No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with GOD. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather it is a change of heart produced by the Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from GOD, not from people.”
This highlights the importance of a changed heart. Through my trials, GOD showed me that renewing my heart for Him was crucial. Everything that happened wasn't punishment or a lesson; He used it for my benefit. In the last four months of 2023, my heart was shattered, but GOD's favor remained. I began praising GOD through it all, understanding that everything aimed to push me away from Him. The enemy is strategic, using seemingly impossible situations to weaken my faith. But our GOD turns the impossible into the possible. I took a stance in my authority, rebranding myself (like Pastor T) would say.
You see, my story isn't over. There are things laid at GOD's feet yet to be completed. I wake up some days with sorrow and lingering pain, but I'm not the same as last year. I was circumcised of lies and disbelief. Unforgiveness for myself and others was not my portion; GOD sustained me. I was desperate, and while alcohol seemed like an escape, I chose to let GOD handle it. I sought Him every moment, reading His word, quoting promises in prayer, and seeking the Holy Spirit's guidance. Every day, I praise Him through storms, trusting Him to calm winds and move mountains.
This is my message to everyone who may feel like life has dealt them a deck of cards that seems unbearable to handle, seek GOD. Don’t try to do this on your own. To those feeling like life is unbearable, seek GOD. Don't try to navigate it alone. Lose control, deeply seek GOD. Talk to Him, pour your heart out.
My favorite part of my relationship with Him is in the morning when I am just there waiting on Him to say something. I tell Him literally, ‘GOD I”m here speak to me, tell me something, show me something. You know how to speak to me where I understand. I’m waiting (lol)”. No trust me I don't take that tone with him, but He knows I have a sense of humor. However, those are literally my words.
I don't know the end of my story, but I know GOD loves me, and I can't do life without Him. So, with each breath, I praise Him through storms, choosing to see His goodness. When afraid, I put my trust in Him (Psalm 56:3), for Jesus said in
Matthew 28:20, "I am with you always, do not be afraid, just believe."
I will leave you all with this, things will get tough for us. Things will seem impossible to bear at the moment. There will come a time when you are going to feel exhausted, emotionally and mentally depleted, but have enough courage to reach out to a fellow sister, brother, friend, or pastor and say I need prayer. Prayer changes things. Sometimes it's the next person's prayer that will hold you up until you get your strength back. I saw firsthand in my life that when I couldn’t pray because my heartache was overpowering me, I knew I had to lean on someone else to stand in the gap for me until I got myself together through the grace of GOD. He showed me the next version of me.
