OH LORD, YOU NEVER LEFT ME ALONE
Jody & Her Father
Sometimes the thing that births us into who we are happens in one moment. Sometimes it is a combination of lots of little moments streaming into a big bang type event that feels like it seals the destiny of who we are going to be.
Here is the thing though, when you’re a child of God, He is the one who makes the call on who you get to be, if you choose to let him.
From the time I was a little girl, I never remember my dad being healthy. He had been severely injured on the job and that was really the defining moment in my life and I was only a year old. The rest of my childhood centered around what came out of that small moment in time. Glittering snapshots in pictures that show the good times become everything precious when the chapter closes on a parent God gave you.. It was eight days after my 17th birthday and I was sitting in math class when I was called to the principal’s office to be informed that my father, my daddy, my real life hero, died.
It would be easy to start at that point and say “that was the moment that defined me” and write from a place of grief and talk about how God redeemed the situation and how it’s okay because my dad believed in God and I have a heavenly father so “it’s cool”. Not only would it be unfair to the 17 years I had with my dad, but it would also be missing the ways God had groomed me after that point in time.
Growing up the way I did taught me great empathy. I feel other people’s pain which allows me to pray and comfort them in a unique way. It made me brave. I was an only child, so I did a lot of things on my own. It made me strong with lots of lonely nights and days (including major holidays) with my parents in the hospital. But mostly, it gave me an unshakable, undeniable, deep faith in God. Even in all the pain I saw my father in, never once did he doubt how good the creator is. I saw him LEAN IN when things were hard. I saw him endure spiritual warfare when he needed to. I saw him give thanks for all he had and all he was given even as his health declined. And, I do know where he went when he died.
In our youth group, we would sing a verse from a praise and worship song that resonated with my soul before he was gone, when I lost him, and that I still cling to long after his absence.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31- KJV
However, at 17 years-old, it is almost impossible to have a life overview perspective on the path God wants you to walk. My father’s death took me down a wild path for many years. Dark times, sad times, but definitely learning lessons EVERY time.
God was there.
He was there when I would cry myself to sleep at night praying for a miraculous healing.
He was there when we would be spending family time together wondering if this could be the last family vacation my dad would be able to walk.
He was there when I walked down the hallway of my highschool into the principal’s office the day I died inside.
He was there through every poor choice I’ve made; through every hangover and every compromising situation.
He was there when I thought to myself “I will never live to see my thirties”, and God is still with me now, on this day, almost two weeks after celebrating my 30th birthday.
I believe I am one of God’s chosen women of His kingdom, sent to share a message: Your story is unique. My story is unique. The situations I lived through made me…. different. I used to hate that about myself. I am super hyper, sometimes overly eager to please and I love everyone fast and hard. I am “too much” for many, but I always feel like I am falling short.
What is beautiful though is that many people know this about me. They know they can trust me and that I will welcome them with kindness and without judgement. I see people and accept them where they are, and I do my best to speak God’s word and His love over them.
Dear precious reader, you have something in you too. There is a story behind you that shows evidence of a testimony he has planted within you to share with the world.
Speak. Share. Love. Pray.
Never give up, He will give you strength. Never stop moving forward, He will give you rest.
Never forget you are one decision away from falling fully into the Father’s arms where He can heal you and begin to restore you. It is never too late and you are never too far.
You’ll be hearing from me, Chosen one. If for no other reason than to remind you to straighten your crown like the queen of the kingdom you are and keep going. You are not alone. You are loved. And you are #Chosen.
About the Author: Jody
Jody has been in the fitness industry for over five years. She is on fire about inspiring people to take care of their health and wellness. How much more can we get done for God’s kingdom if we are healthy and have great energy? We are the Temple for the Holy Spirit to dwell in. If God created it, we should take are of it! Jody is also involved in the Remix worship ministry, as well as the creative team for Chosen Women’s Ministry. She often has a schedule that leaves her running on Jesus, coffee and dry shampoo- but mostly just wants to spend time with her Husband of four years and their three dogs. Her biggest goal? To help women understand how powerful God created them to be, how valuable they are to the Kingdom, and how loved they are by so many, but by no one more than Jesus Christ.
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