Falling For The Counterfeit
By Chaunte Bluford
When God told me to release a former boyfriend, it felt like a dagger through my heart. Even though I said I was done with a series of angry text messages, God must have known that under the right circumstances or if he said just the right words, I would give him another chance. Even after all of the deception, I still had a soft spot in my heart for him. So, with tears in my eyes, I did what I needed to do to release this man that I thought was perfect for me. I could no longer walk in disobedience to God. The truth is, I ignored all the red flags because I only wanted to see his best qualities. I fell for all of his natural, glowing attributes and I even tried to rationalize his disconnection from Christ. I pushed back the nagging feeling inside of me that I knew something was not right. I guess I put on those “rose-colored glasses”. I learned through that experience though that I was so desperate for love and willing to settle for a counterfeit blessing. I never went to God and asked, “is this the one?” I just prayed, “ can he be the one?” I am going to be honest - I did not wait for an answer and I may have even heard a “no” in my spirit. But I just kept pursuing. He appeared to be everything I desired and everything I had been waiting for. However, one major element was missing. The Holy Spirit! And without that I knew deep within my being that this relationship could go nowhere.
Remember when God promised Abraham and Sarah a child in their old age? Year after year, they waited but didn't see the promise come to pass. Then, Sarah devised a plan for Abraham to get her slave Hagar pregnant and let that child be the child God promised to her and Abraham. He agreed and Ishmael was born. But God reminded them that he was not the promised heir. The birth of Ishmael caused contention in the lives of Sarah, Abraham, and Hagar. Eventually, Sarah became pregnant and gave birth to Isaac just as God had promised. The counterfeit seed, Ishmael, and the promised seed, Isaac, grew up together until conflict arose and now Abraham had to release his idea of the promise. He had to send Ishmael away. I am sure it was a difficult decision to make because Ishmael was his flesh and blood. Before Isaac was born, Abraham wanted God to make Ishmael the promise, but God already said the seed would come through Sarah. Does this concept sound familiar? We always want God to bless our mess. At least I know I do…lol. It is hard to let go of the people we attach ourselves to because we bond with them physically, mentally, and emotionally. Especially if the person is so close to what we imagined or hoped for but the key words are “close to”. When we choose to settle for “almost” it causes us to miss the experience of seeing God supernaturally move on our behalf. Settling for “almost” will also cause us to miss the opportunity to increase our faith as we wait on Him to give the blessing He promised.
Unfortunately, unlike Abraham, letting go of this person I invited into my life was not as simple as doing what God said. It was a process for me. For the first couple of weeks, I didn’t reach out to him. I still felt angry and resentful towards this person that was formally the object of my affection. I prayed every day for God to help me let go. I also prayed for him too because I did not want to hold unforgiveness in my heart and I wanted him to be blessed. One day, I reached out to him because I needed help and he obliged as he always did. For the next few days new emotions swirled around within me because I assumed he would come clean, be apologetic, or something. I tried to move on as his friend, but the more I tried the more God blocked it and I had to accept the fact that he was not the man I thought he was and God was not going to turn the counterfeit into a blessing. So, one day in my quiet time, I was trying to figure out how to truly let go. How do I detach my emotions? How do I untie our souls? Then I heard the Holy Spirit say, “by the fruits of the spirit”. I began to recite Galatians 5:22 and the Holy Spirit began to show me how love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness and faithfulness were going to guide me through the process of releasing someone that was never meant for me, in a peaceful manner.
God’s unconditional love helped me to understand I didn’t have to create love when it is given by Him so freely. I looked for things that gave me joy that had nothing to do with another person. Things like walking on the beach, watching the sunset, and taking bubble baths while listening to soft music. I found peace in the belief that God has some greater plan for me and I did not want to leave this earth settling for something ordinary when my Father had something extraordinary for me. One day I heard the Holy Spirit ask me this question, “what if you knew that God is telling you to let go of someone who was standing between you and your destiny? Would you still hold on?” The concept of longsuffering has always been hard for me because I struggle with patience. But as time progresses, it’s become easier and easier and the burden lighter and lighter. Soon, it wasn’t about getting over the counterfeit, it was about preparing for God’s promise. However, sometimes I still held onto hurt feelings and I had a habit of lashing out... you know, getting things off my chest angrily. I had to remind myself to be kind because I wanted to be a better representation of my Father. Instead of letting the hurt flow to the other person, I held some things in and tried to speak kind words until the moment passed. I reminded myself that everything God created was good and I am righteous through Him. Even when I fall short, I don’t have to beat myself up. I can get back up again and walk in His goodness. Last, but definitely not least, I focused on being faithful to God by rededicating myself and submitting my will to Him. I allowed Him to show his faithfulness in my life by believing in Him even when I couldn’t physically see Him. With consistency and persistence, I was finally and completely able to let go for real.
I look forward to writing my next blog for you, Receiving the Promise.
Be encouraged!
Chaunte
